you know what the problem is/ well I'll tell you. it's the lack of time to do all the cool things that the world affords us. what is the point of having all this technology all around us, all the channels and shows, all the gadgets and devices and implements, if we are all too exhausted to appreciate any of it, if we walk around like zombified freekz all the time, if we are actually sad about not having a new cool thing and it gets us all bummed out and then we go get it and then never hardly use it/ what is the point of advancing if we're actually walking backwards, staggering under the burden of the world/
why do we try to shield ourselves from the actual world with electronic gimcracks and gewgaws, gee-whiz stuff that is supposed to mitigate our pain/ oh things were so much simpler when I was a kid and had less stuff, which was already so much more stuff than my mom ever had, probably my dad too, backwards in an unbroken line to the pyramids which were the first status symbol, massive trophy cars sitting in the middle of the desert, never driven, full of all the detritus of the very rich including their slaughtered mummified pets

on the other hand my iPod is still awesome, feeding me Al Green and Charles Mingus and Bollywood jamz and the Platters all on a big silver platter

maybe I'm just cranky because I ate ten cookies last night and now my mouth is all swollen, am I really this old that I have to CUT DOWN ON SUGAR/ man no one tole me I'd be all used up and desiccated at 39, they should tell kids that when they're young so the simple pleasure of eating 10 cookies without waking up all puffy from sugar would seem like a beautiful thing. there are a lot of things they don't tell kids though, probably just as well

also very sad because one of the players on our coach-pitch team had his last game last night, family moving to MN, awesome kid. iceman, we'll miss you. (other team nicknames: "iron," "number nine," "the hammer," "downtown," "sammy sosa". more to come, these kids LOVE their nicknames.)

but happy because...well, because I don't seem to be depressed anymore. I'm prickly, I'm stupid, I'm lazy, I'm a slob, I'm a bad son and a worse father and a horrible writer...BUT AT LEAST NOT DEPRESSED ANYMORE! so I got that goin' for me.

what changed/ my perspective. how/ well I'll tell you about that tomorrow or sometime later. in the meantime, keep your wheels turning and remember that a smile is your passport to a beautiful tomorrow

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