a nice red tomato from kristii's backyard

calling to me from
somewhere else some other time:
"dude, leave a message"

You know how you get stuck in a rut and you don't even know it but you kind of do but you also don't, and it goes on this way for years and your low-level depression comes to color everything around you and you start attributing other people's actions to ulterior motives that they don't really have, all because you're a big mess? Well, I don't feel like that anymore.

all eleven kids
running after the same ball-----
suddenly THE KICK

It's like the shroud has been lifted off of me by that mean old dead John Houseman. (I will send you a penny in the mail if you understand that reference.) I am being challenged now at work, which helps; I have decided to stop punishing so many people for the crime of not being me; I am back in therapy and chilling more; but it's more than that. I don't know what it is, it's like I'm trusting myself more maybe. And who knows how long it'll last. But I'm happier right now, and that's important enough for me to say it out loud.

cherry tree: bereft
of the little reddish leaves
my lawnmower chops

I don't know if I need to do this blog anymore. I don't have a lot of patience for my old poor-me status, which was half the posts, nor the time to sneak in little observations from work anymore, which was the other half. I also think The Freelance Mentalists will fade, as I'm the only one who's posted in forever. I kinda favor The Daily Seventeen now anyway, and my bomb-ass stats program backs me up on that. (More links you jerks more links.) But I guess I'll try to keep up here for interested parties still. Just saying that this has been a fun place to blow off steam for the last 10 months but now I don't really NEED it anymore.

upside down duckling,
an old car, george washington:
naming all the clouds