some thoughts I thought I'd think I

1. "there's no excuse for any blog" -- fiddo centington.

I really think this could be true, but you have to take it to the xxxtreme: there's no excuse for any self-expression, any writing or music or painting or la la la I'm talking to myself againe. Anyway, even though I probably agree, screw Jess for hating everything and praise him for striking right at the existential heart of the matter, slaying the dragon with one well-timed thrust of his pen. Although he's probably not using a pen.

2. My brother in law was once trying out a new pen and was writing "This pen is working and I am writing with it" and didn't leave a lot of space between the 2nd and 3rd words and some people were really worried about him.

3. This same gentleman once got booted from class for raising his hand to answer a question in class. He wanted to be picked so he thought he'd raise his longest finger. The teacher and principal were astounded that he didn't know what that meant.

4. Kids thought I was gay in 5th grade because I decided to raise my pinky finger to answer all questions. I wish I could say I did it to fuck with them but I think I just did it because, y'know, who else would ever do that?

5. Other reasons kids thought I was gay: bringing an ELO record to class (A New World Record), wearing a shiny pink silk jacket, doing my impression of Diana Ross signing "Theme From Mahogany."

6. My teacher in 5th grade, whom I was trying to impress with that ELO record, and whom once used the frog from the cover of a Leon Redbone album that I had seen in a drugstore record section in an illustration and I said "So you like Leon Redbone huh?" thereby freaking her out a whole lot, once used the phrase "No shit, Sherlock" to me. She was hot and all the dads hit on her, mine included.

7. My sixth-grade teacher once instructed me to put a tack on David W-----'s chair. The victim sat there for 30 seconds before feeling it and jumping up, "Hey!"

8. People were always doing stuff like that with me, trying to get me to lighten up, to do fun wild weird stuff that was bad for me. I rarely acquiesced. That's why I didn't go down to the river and drink lots of beer in high school...well, that and the fact that there were some kids who did this "fun" activity who hated me for whatever reason, and this would have been the perfect opportunity for them to jump me and give me a lot of beatingses.

9. I am thinking of these things because I am returning to the OR this weekend to visit my mom and grandma and brother and any friends that I manage to see. I'm probably the only one who gets like this around visits "home", but I do, and I choose to think of it as very charming and cute instead of immature and neurotic.

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